this pain is just to real
by alias chica-47
Summary: syd has a break down


Ok this is just a little song fic, sad, but that is what alias has turned into, I mean are there any more happy moments?? It will never be the same, anyway.  
  
Sydney stood there her feet firmly planted looking at Vaughn as he explained to her their mission. His mouth was moving, but his words were lost. She was trying to keep the tears that were burning her eyes from spilling onto her face  
  
I'm so tired of being here  
  
Suppressed by all my childish fears And if you have to leave I wish that you would just leave Because your presence still lingers here And it won't leave me alone  
  
"Syd.it is really dangerous" was all she caught What did it matter, her life had been stolen from her, Her biggest fear fulfilled Losing the one last person who loved her And then having to be around the person who replaced her Digging the cut even deeper Lauren Walked over, wrapping her arm around Vaughn, kissing him on his cheek, and then looking down at the papers he was reading from. The tears that she had strained to keep to herself exploded  
  
These wounds don't seem to heal  
  
This pain is just to real There's just to much that time cannot erase  
  
She turned around to walk away, hoping they hadn't noticed her weakness, The memories started to flood back, Flashes of her kitchen the first night they were together, Glimpses of mini golf court, Her tears turned into weeping as she remembered the meetings they had in the warehouse. She could hear the owner of the restaurant in nice, Vaughn ordering the wine, She could picture the drawer that used to be hers, That was now ashes, along with the memories, they were just ashes, a faint trace of what was, and what could never be.  
  
When you Cried I wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears And I've held your hand through all of these years But you still have all of me  
  
Her weeping transformed to sobs as she remembered everything she went through to save Vaughn when he was sick, How he was there for her when she learned about project Christmas, The first time he came to her house, When they broke into the Vatican, When he offered to lose everything he had worked all his life for to help her get Will back, But she lost all of that. It could never come back, because of two words, and two rings, and two other people.  
  
You used to captivate me  
  
By you're resonating light But now I'm bound by the life you left behind Your face haunts my only pleasant dreams Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me  
  
Lauren walked into the bathroom where Sydney was currently residing Tears streamed down her face, she looked as barren as a dessert "Are you ok?" she asked in her British accent Everything that had built up in Sydney over the weeks, Her mourning turned into pure hatred and anger This woman had taken what was hers, She had single handedly taken the one good thing in her life.  
  
These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
The pain is just too real There's just to much that time cannot erase  
  
Sydney stormed up to Vaughn, Her sadness now full fledged anger, "How the hell could you do that me" she glared at him "W..What?" "Vaughn we went through way to much for you to move on, there is no way that you can stand there and tell me you feel nothing, you were the one good thing in my life, the only person I could tell anything to, the only person in this world that I trusted" she was now shouting at him, tears falling down her face as more memories of the pier came back "You know how much we went to, to be together, you were willing to give up your life for me, butt in less then a year after my death you moved on. How dare you, because you know I would have waited, even if it really did kill me, yeah Vaughn, kill me, not nearly kill me, I was so in love with you that I would have died" And Vaughn was looking down at the floor, a tear streamed down his face  
  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fear  
  
And I've held your hand through all of these years But you still have all of me  
  
Vaughn wrapped his arms tightly around her, Vowing never to let go of her again, He had lost everything with her, It had broken him, And he realized he had almost ruined his chance to fic the broken pieces that were still lying on the floor. Then he looked up and he saw his wife, And realized, the pieces had been swept away along time ago, lost in memories, and could never be fixed.  
  
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
  
And though you're still with me I've been alone all along..  
  
Omg do you know how hard it was to write that, But it was closure I needed on alias, I am finally free and never have to care again, Actually who am I kidding, I still hate his wife, And right now I am hating JJ abrams for ruining alias But anyway I hope you licked it as sad as it is... The song was my immortal by evenessance 


End file.
